Psychology

Saving The World

The Frustrating Secret to “Saving The World” Love, Acceptance, and the Paradox of Change Loving People As They Are, Instead of Telling Them How to Be There’s a magical paradox that happens when we love someone perfectly as they are—this love often allows them to change. In fact, I think…

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spiritualbypassing

Ninety-Nine Sure Signs of Spiritual Bypassing “The idea of “spiritual bypass” is simple: It’s when we use our spiritual beliefs and experiences as a way to deny our deeper and more sincere life needs. These sincere needs may be around belonging, career, money, power, self-expression, or sexuality.” ~ Mark Forman…

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Fixing Psychological Problems

How can I hold both of these seemingly contradictory truths?

I have to let go of the assumption that two contradictory ideas cannot coexist at the same time. Beyond relativism, where I can be both tall and short from different perspectives, it is quite possible to be both happy and sad at the same time—from the same perspective.

Easier said than done. We are socialized to draw distinctions and create absolute boundaries because they can be extremely useful. Yet when it comes to the complexity of the self system, psychology, and human emotion, a more encompassing way of understanding is necessary to be more accurate and caring.

So once I let myself experience both the desire to fix my own problem (of wanting to fix other’s problems), and the desire to not fix my own problem (partly in order to fix it), I relax into that paradox.

And whenever I feel myself relaxing into the paradox in order to resolve it, I notice that and laugh. If I notice myself using that relaxation as a technique to fix myself, I just stay with it, noticing the feelings of disappointment and frustration, of wonder and excitement.

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You Are Wrong About What Will Make You Happy And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing If you do not have 21 minutes to watch this video where Harvard Psychologist Dan Gilbert exposes some surprising myths about happiness, then here is the gist: We synthesize—as in create synthetically—happiness. And even for…

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How to Become A Saint* Experiment: Exploring Your Own Inner Wisdom and Highest Potential How would your life be different if you saw it through the eyes of Nelson Mandela? If you saw other people’s suffering like Mother Teresa did? If you thought about politics like the Dalai Llama? We…

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First World Problems

Uncovering the Sneaky Ways We Use Humor to Repress Emotions  It’s a common occurrence for humans to feel like our individual problems are absolutely the worst thing in the world, yet it’s just as common to feel like our problems aren’t as bad as someone else’s and therefore don’t merit…

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egohonesty

Ego Honesty How Are You Lying to Yourself? (originally published on DailyHap.com on 5/21/13)  Ego honesty is when we think we’re being fully honest for a higher good, but we are really being “honest” just to inflate our sense of self. The Lie of Full Disclosure John shares a rude opinion, despite the fact that…

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journal1-1

What if I told you that there was a free, secret pill that was scientifically proven to lower doctor visits, improve your immune system, reduce your blood pressure, improve your mood, increase your feeling of well-being, and reduce depression? (1) That it has no negative side effects, and has been proven to reduce absenteeism from…

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lightdark

This article is Crossposted at DailyHap.com At this point in history almost all educated westerners are aware of the fact that human beings have subconscious motivations affecting our decisions. We recognize that humans often repress negative emotions, thereby splitting off a piece of ourselves and creating a “dark side.” Yet the…

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This article cross-posted on DailyHap.com What do these have in common? “I’m so dumb, I can’t believe I stayed with him so long.” “I could have gotten that promotion, I don’t know why I didn’t do what was necessary to get it.” “We shouldn’t have played that song, the crowd…

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Let’s pretend for a moment that you have a friend who hates the politics of George W. Bush. Whenever the guy speaks, he begins to seethe with anger, and the rest of his day is ruined.

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